probing the depths of my knowledge

so i was sorting through a webpage today - not quite sure how i got there but i stumbled across this guy's results from a certain test he had taken (not sure if it was a guy really, but that's beside the point). so, being the intensely competitive person that i am i had to try the test out as well and luckily i wasn't at 'work' so i was able to maneuver around the pictures of rear ends with ease (a qualification - these are simply rear ends, no other appendages are shown, and neither are there glimpses of anything else that might tickle the fancy. given that you're not one hundred percent sure if these are men's or women's rear ends the opportunity to get excited is limited. that said it's most likely a nsfw site and you're thereby warned in advance).

ok... so basically the test involves looking at a bunch of butts and determining if they are male or female. any physical features (ahem) that might make the classification easier have been covered so the whole thing is pretty pg but that didn't stop me from checking over my shoulder from time to time to see if anyone was watching.

it is, quite simply, the ass identification quiz and let's just say that i am quite adept in that nether region as my score of 17 out of 19 would attest (the other guy/girl could only claim 14 right). this translates to a score that is 93% better that other people my sex and age range. pretty nifty i must say.

hey - did anyone notice the notice posted on the onion's website? apparently they are experiencing a writer's strike and therefore haven't posted anything new in a while. here is the notice at the top of the onion's front page...

"Due to the unprecedented, unwarranted, and ultimately unwise reporter strike, The Onion will be featuring highlights from past news coverage this week. Luckily for A.V. Club readers, entertainment journalists are not unionized."

i guess the thing that impresses me most is that the onion is actually making money. i also thought that the stories were cobbled together by a few college frat boys in a drunken spree of scrabble the night before the posts go live. there are, at best, 5 full stories each week with a smattering of headlines and vignettes consisting of a sentence or two. while they are undoubtedly funny - bush regales dinner guests with impromptu oratory on virgil's minor works (classic) is just one fine example - there is little substance and i'm assuming the biggest efforts come in prepping the articles for the web. anyway, we'll see how long this lasts - i will be preparing a portfolio however, just in case.