smart car anyone?

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Originally uploaded by bender folksinger

ok, so in the past post it was a lamp post, not a tree that the scantily clad teen was about to walk into.

in this pic we see a couple of interesting things about the new development - the first is the fact that people are parking as far as possible from the stores. i think this is because they are trying to stay as far as possible from the smells emanating from boston pizza...

the second is that there are two smart cars parked about ten car lengths apart. in both cases the driver backed into the spot... don't really think that's interesting but it allowed the graphic designer to use a different cgi car.

risque view of king's crossing

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Originally uploaded by bender folksinger

the new power centre that's starting to take shape up by the 401 is called king's crossing and the k-cap website has a few pics of what the whole mess of shopping paradise it's supposed to be. the pics are the regular computer generated type with the same people walking about rather aimlessly and cars evenly distributed throughout mile wide parking lots... but there are a few interesting elements of the pics that are interesting.

first up is this innocuous looking pic.. until your eye takes in the jail bait at the right side. not only is this miss wearing a very short skirt but there seems to be an opportune breeze passing through that's upping the pedophile quotient of the pic 10 fold. she also might just walk into a tree that's been placed in the middle of the sidewalk.

drowing rabbits

so i'm at the pool last night - an insane venture at the best of times because it would seem than no one in this neighbourhood has anything better to do than hang out at the pool and stand around in the shallow end and adjust their goggles. each lane had like 6 swimmers and another 4 or so bystanders sort of hanging out and trying to decide whether they would try and actually complete a lap or not. not that i'm a huge swimmer but come on. there's a whole lane dedicated to 'leisure' and usually full of people doing impressions of kelp or other stationary aquatic creatures. yet, these other manotee (sp?) refuse to take advantage of the leisure lane - they mock the leisure lane. i hate these people.

so anyway, as i mentioned there is one lane marked leisure. the other two are 'fast' and 'slow'. i'm assuming this refers to the speed at which you are expected to swim in these lanes and does not refer to the mental competency of those doing the swimming. the pictures, however, on the sandwich boards referring to the lane speed are a bit more puzzling. on the slow lane there is a turtle, which, i admit, makes some sense. turtles are slow. however, in the water they can be pretty quick. not fin shark quick but fairly speedy. but i get the point.

the fast lane though makes little to no sense. there is a picture of a rabbit under the word fast. rabbits are fast, but can they swim? ok, so some right-wing psycho rabbits have been known to go on homicidal sprees but normally fluffy white mammals do not come to mind when i think of speedy watercraft. in fact, i think a turtle would rightly kick a rabbit's ass in a swimming race (unless the rabbit happened to be the rabbit of caerbannog in which case it would have gone psycho medieval on the turtle)

microwaveable find

i was nuking some lunch and came to the realization that our microwave sucks. despite 5 minutes on high (while spinning) my meal emerged in a tepid paste-like consistency that was anything but appetizing. so... i went to kijiji to see if there were any microwaves about that might fit my price range (cheap). i found a bunch but i must say that i know little to nothing about microwaves and quality so i thought i'd google a couple makes and models to see what i could find.

well, one make - the goldstar intellowave - led me to a video review by bunyon, an expotv member who positively cracks me up. the guy looks like he just woke up and was handed a package of something to blather on about and he does! the review is nothing more than a reading of the buttons and size of the microwave (a plus, it comes with a timer, in case your oven doesn't have a timer, you can use the one on your microwave).

some of his videos look like they were taken in a war bunker where stuffed animals are used in interrogation exercises.

he also has a dog and 'reviews' a wide assortment of dog biscuits and treats. for most of those he reads directly from the package with no hint of irony in his voice (kudos for that!).

some he's just phoning it in...

ok... i looked at the site a bit and these people get paid if i watch the videos so that's why they even bother. and given that the only real qualification is that they have to speak for a minute they're really just killing time (most videos last between one and a half and two minutes). funny for a couple of minutes but annoying afterwards...

wind power redefined

shawn frayne is one smart cookie (although his way of saying 'turbine' is offputting...). he's rejiggered the concept of wind energy to make it a heck of a lot more efficient and cheap. his idea - think of when you pick up a broad leaved piece of grass and blow across it - it warbles and makes a high pitched sound. well, if you could use this warbling to create energy you'd be in the energy business and will have barely broken a sweat. add a couple of magnets and some coiled wire and you are there. it's so simple you really do wonder why you didn't think of it before. and it's ideas like this that provoke others to dredge their minds for that one great thought that never really gained traction.



from haha.nu

short post, short shrift

i came across the term short shrift in a document i was editing and became curious with the etymology of the term. it turns out that it's a pretty interesting phrase with much more meaning than we usually afford it.

http://www.answers.com/topic/short-shrift

a more interesting take is discussed here: http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-sho2.htm

top 100 canadian albums, oui

so a while back this guy, Bob Mersereau, put together a book on the top 100 canadian albums of all time. no real surprise that neil young's harvest took the top spot although i'm more partial to joni mitchell's blue or a number of more modern classics (including the weakerthan's left and leaving and bran van 3000's discosis - which didn't even make the top 100!). in fact, just one album was included in the top ten which was released in the past ten years - the arcade fire's funeral. this is a shame and omits a broad swath of great can-con, especially as we're starting to get recognized around the world (feist, anyone?). sarah harmer ranked high, deservedly so, but no new pornographers or malajube (which i'll get to in a second) or sam roberts among others.

anyway, i was reading an article in la presse today about how french canadian (read: quebecois) artists were snubbed. this is too true - there was a gaping hole of french stuff that the list didn't even feign to fill. however, i can understand that, historically, french artists have been pigeonholed, by either the recording industry or otherwise, geographically. you're more likely to find a manu chao song on the radio than anything by les trois accords. so... one of the comments afterward seemed to put the blame on english canada's lack of interest in french artists. this might be true to an extent, but really... i don't think that stands up to truth. there have been a number of spanish artists who have found success and there is an entire world music scene that runs the gamut from xhosa to russian that finds its niche. even sigur ros has a following and they make words up! i think that if people had a chance to hear the music they'd like it, buy the albums and so on.

the problem, more often that not, is that english canada doesn't get the opportunity to hear these artists.

for instance, right now there's a band in quebec called kain that is hotter than black vinyl car seats and yet they're invisible in english canada. a check of their tour dates reveals that they have few plans to cross into upper canada anytime soon. while i can find their album here in ottawa (in the french section) you wouldn't know it was there unless you were looking for it.

a side note - i picked up the new bran van today and when i went looking for it in a music world i eventually found it (after asking for assistance from the stunned staff) in the adult contemporary section. i thought that was hilarious.

malajube was somewhat able to break into english canada but it was a short-lived honeymoon and they've cooled considerably. however, if these bands got airplay i do think they would be supported - i went out and bought a copy of kain's last disc (and downloaded some ariane moffat - another great find) after hearing them on musique plus (which you can get in kingston! of course we don't get cable anymore...).

death to fruit flies

i've found a fun way of getting rid of fruit flies - and we have had lots of practice...

the window screens in our place aren't all that great - the frames are not level and so there are gaps to either side of the screen. this means that we're constantly battling flies and other critters that wander in. well, with the indoor compost and the cats wrecking havoc fruit flies have been promulgating to no end. it doesn't help that we've set a number of traps up that have, i believe, proved tempting to other fruit flies that are idly flying by our windows and decide to set up shop. so, yes, we've been catching hundreds of the suckers in little dishes of vinegar (apple cider) with saran wrap on top (with holes to let them in) and wine bottles with traces of wine left in them.

i even tried to bake the suckers one time - i left a pie place in the over with a bit of wine in it overnight and when i woke up shut the oven door and turned the heat way up. well, i probably toasted a bunch but was not cruel enough to turn on the oven light and watch them burn.

however, i am cruel enough for my latest killing method - the hand-vac. this thing is great. you aim it where they are and fire away! most are sucked in instantly but a few try to outrun it and that's where the fun begins. as with the gravity of small planets there is a point of no return and many flies seem to hang in mid-air as they slide over the precipice, picking up speed as they enter the machine.

it would be way cool to add sound effects to the process - alas fruit flies are too small to make much of a thud or 'smuck' noise as they die...

cleanup

just wanted to post a few things while they're fresh on my mind...

pc mag just released their best of 2007 blogs (and gave props to boing boing and neatorama, two of my biggest addictions...) and included within was kudos for the site adfreak which, as the title suggests, focuses on ads and their ilk... well, it would appear that nyc has a new ad campaign... very cartoony... but that's not the interesting thing. they referenced lousiville, kentucky's recent foray into advertising that must be seen to be believed...

here's a listing of the 6 that they've released...

absolutely hilarious - come to louisville to find a girl with a tattoo on her butt. classic.

more stuff to follow...
also - ingrid michaelson sings the sweater song from the old navy commercial... whew...